so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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