I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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