u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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