Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
