Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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