last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
