Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
