i just wanna soil my oats bro
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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