Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You were trust falling into bushes
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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