Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
