I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
