I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
