I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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