he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm really busy with my period
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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