At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
