problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
