I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
