Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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