the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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