I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
