It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
