and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
3pm strippers are depressing
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
