i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
