Can i not drive my cunt home
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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