AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
