good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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