Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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