Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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