I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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