So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
