In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
