kristin has been a bad kristin
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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