so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
