1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
they call him Oral-B. enough said
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
