I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
