She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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