Will you blow on my dice?
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize