Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
