yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
