one two three fourrrrnication!
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
