she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
