it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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