She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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