pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
