Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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