so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
