I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
