Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
