If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
