im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
