I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize