I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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