I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
and you fell through a lawn chair
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
