so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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