I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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