Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
