Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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