omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize