Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Houston, we have a squirter
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
