i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
