The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
