Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
