haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
